[Do you… sounds of static… plead guilty?]
Do I?
Am I guilty?
Yes. Perhaps. I don’t know. Am I guilty for doing what I thought were acts of righteousness? Certainly. Am I guilty for drinking in, devouring, then regurgitating everything ever fed to me, without ever giving it enough doubt? Without a doubt. Am I guilty for being a naive child, for believing all adults were wiser than I, for dreams of a perfect world? Of course.
What was the question again?
I am guilty. I did all those things.
But did I know they were crimes?
Did I know I was guilty?
Do I?
[A pause. Distant disruption broke out among the audience. Shouts. Accusations. They flit over the defendant unacknowledged.]
Do I plead?
Yes, certainly. In those last moments. How could I not? When all has been lost. My family. My beliefs. My very self shattered and thrown to the wolves before their righteous gaze.
Yes, I plead. I was begging on my knees.
But what does it matter to you lot? I can plead all I want, all day long, and I’d still be pleading, wouldn’t I?
Plead is just a word. Just a turn of phrase.
I am pleading, yes. Even now. But I’m pleading for a worse fate for myself. How is that even possible?
[The defendant laughs. It was an unhinged sound, much like the nature of the words carrying across the courtroom.]
Yes. I plead. The more I plead, the more I’ll plead, the more ill-plead it is. It’s bad practice. I’ll stop.
Yes, I was pleading. I was scared, that was all I knew. I was guilty, even if I didn’t know.
I do not plead now. I was guilty, as defined by law, and I do not need to be on my knees for this to be true.
I was not guilty, by definition of the word. I was not responsible for any crime I knew of. I felt no remorse, for I did not commit any crime I knew of. I was not guilty, for I could not be guilty for doing what I believed was right. I could not be guilty for following instructions and being obedient. I could not be guilty for being born into the wrong side, for being shaped into the wrong “perfect child”. The guilt was not mine to feel — I owe you no guilt.
……
But I am guilty now, by both definitions. Even if it’s too late.
Too late, too early. Wrong time is no better than never. Do you remember the clock? The blood coating the numbers. The second’s hand, just a millimeter to the right. The right you always strive for.
Even Time favors you lot.
[The defendant raises a finger toward the far wall.]
Do you hear the ticking?
It’s too late now. I shall be guilty no longer. No longer, when this hour passes. The arrow will point right again. A full, perfect circle at noon.
Allow me one last ... lament. Elegy, if you will. Certainly no one will spare me the pleasure of writing one for me.
Allow me one last minute, one last answer.
I plead —
I —
I suppose I should state my name as well. But what is there to my name anyways? What is left?
What is a name?
Written in blood, sculpted in bones. My family name is in my words and manner, my voice and my crimes.
My name shall stand for those whom the court shall rule guilty. My name shall rest forgotten in a long line of nameless, faceless ashes, lost among the responsibilities they fed me. Honor. Glory. The nation and the people. Obedience. Loyalty. Don’t ask questions. Reverence. Devotion. The duty and the cause.
You are one of a great people.
You will bring peace. Honor. Glory. They didn’t mention the blood.
Your name shall be remembered in the annals of history. They never did say if it’ll be in a good light.
Family comes first, they said.
At least I did the last part right.
My family shall be remembered for what they have done. For what we have done. Our name will be recorded on graves, in law courts, as villains in textbooks. Our name will be guilty.
My name — not the one of my family, not the one passed down nor the one they called me — my name, that forgotten child, is long gone.
I give up my legal name — I give it back to my family, give it back to the graves and the earth, let the wind take it and the sun chase it away for the dark it was.
I have given up my real name long ago. I shan’t take it back.
From now on, I am only a defendant at court. Nameless. Graveless. Remorseless.
Now that this defendant has gone through all reasonings, now that the last minute, last word has been used up, now is the time for that answer to the question.
[The defendant looks up one last time, not at the front of the courtroom, but at the clock on the far side. It points to 11:59.]
*
[The footage ends as the hour and minute hands overlap. Only one sentence, spoken by the defendant, is recorded throughout the entire hour.]
I do not plead….
[The footage fuzzes out into a blur of static, then darkens.]
… to dead men.
[The defendant points to the clock a minute before noon. A minute after, no one in the room is standing – including the defendant.]
*
Time is of the essence.
Time is unforgiving.
When a plan depends on the leniency of Time, it is not a dependable plan.
But to manipulate Time into bending for you —
*
FILE #01090622
REPORT #5
COMPILED: 09/11/23
ISSUE:
Crime: 2B - PUBLIC.
Building #2, Room #4 was found to contain *****, a newly discovered poisonous substance, on 08/20/23. The gaseous substance was released at precisely 11:59 AM. Eighteen of the twenty four occupants died within the next minute; the rest suffered potentially permanent internal damage, particularly to their lungs. The room remained out of service from 08/20/23 to 09/10/23 due to remnants of *****.
PERSONS INVOLVED:
Subject #01090622 was identified as the culprit and one of the wounded; the trial continued in Room #8 on 08/25/23, with reinforced security and further evidence. The Subject was sentenced to execution on 08/26/23.
Subject #06230122, Subject #06039922, Subject #00149323, and Subject #03008623 confessed to be accomplices and were imprisoned.
Subject #06230122 is sentenced to execution on 08/27/23; Subject #06039922 is sentenced to life-long imprisonment. Subject #00149323 and Subject #03008623 are suspended from their work and sentenced to two years of imprisonment, starting 08/20/23 and ending 08/21/25.
Subject #03008623’s prison sentence has been lifted. Reason: 2A - CLASSIFIED. See FILE #03008623.
*
When I first saw the plan, I was afraid.
I knew I wasn’t capable enough. How could I shoulder such responsibility?
But –
Duty. Honor. Absolute faith and obedience.
……
Yes - duty. It is my duty to bring honor to my family.
*
FILE #01090622
REPORT #2:
COMPILED: 02/16/21
THREAT ASSESSMENT:
Subject #01090622 is a blood relative of multiple high-positioning officials from the former 00-2* government. No previous records of misconduct. Frequent contact with high-threats. Low to zero likelihood of conversion. Possible target.
Assessment result: 1C. To be put under supervision.
*See FILE #00000022.
*
Glory. Was it worth all that blood?
A stray shoe, spotted red like roses, torn by their thorns. A patch of cloth stained brown and stiff, stiff as the body it covers. An alarm clock, hands frozen, the liquid on it too heavy for the frail pointers to hold, too slow to slide off. It’s silent; its insides are all clotted up.
Glory pushed time to a stop, hushed all doubts and reason. Glory painted my world in red.
I could not see past the red.
*
FILE #01090622
REPORT #6
COMPILED: 09/13/23
Evidence #023 was found in Subject #01090622’s bedroom in 1002, Maison Street on 08/13/23. The evidence consists of an envelope and its sole content: a hand-written procedure on paper for making a cure to *****, a highly dangerous poison nearly undetectable in its gaseous form. It is unknown to whom the creation of ***** is accredited, but the first ever mention of such a substance appears in Evidence #023. The cure was later produced and used after the events of 08/20/23, detailed in FILE #01090622, REPORT #5.
*
I played for time, as they told me to. I let them use me as a scapegoat.
But I see now. Past rose-colored glass, past red-hot glory, past the blood and shadow they – you – spilt on me.
I’m no longer a child, no longer my family’s embodiment.
You were lucky the last time – we believed Time was on our side. We paid for our beliefs.
Time does not favor a people twice – not when you are unprepared for its favor.
So why did I tip the scales in your favor, when I myself sat at the opposite end?
I don’t owe you anything, anymore than I owe them. But I owe myself a little rebellion.
*
FILE #01090622
REPORT #4
COMPILED: 08/22/23
FOOTAGE: Trial #1, Subject #01090622, Dated 08/20/23
*
– that’s going to come with a hefty price tag, I’m afraid. Deals with Time are never ideal.
So I did play for Time – not in the direction they wanted.
So I did stay as a scapegoat – though I might have e-scaped instead of gotten slaughtered.
But for all the Time I bought, I had to pay.
My minutes are up.
*
FILE #01090622
REPORT #7
COMPILED: 08/26/23
FOOTAGE: Trial #2, Subject #01090622, Dated 08/25/23
*
[Static. The defendant’s face blurs in and out of focus.]
… now is the time for that answer to the question.
[A mouth opens and closes.]
Do you plead guilty?
*
FILE #01090622
REPORT #8
COMPILED: 08/28/23
Subject #01090622 was tried 08/25/23 for MANSLAUGHTER, ARSON, and an additional 2ND DEGREE MURDER.
*
[Final words echo in those final moments. Noon sighs as the hands of Time, once again, draw a full circle.]
Yes, this defendant pleads guilty.
[The second clicks neatly into place.]
*
FILE #01090622
REPORT #1
COMPILED: 01/09/06
Subject #01090622 was born 01/08/06 to Subject #08208522 and Subject #11308322.
See FILE #08208522 and FILE #11308322.
*
COMPILED BY: SUBJECT #04030623
LAST EDITED: 01/20/24
COLLECTION: GOVERNMENT OF ****** 2023